MY SHAKUNTALA DEVI

Amidst the hectic schedule I managed to see Shakuntala Devi. Vidya Balan's movies generally offer good story and acting skills. I was expecting that the movie would talk about the celebrated mathematician and the magic she created with numbers. But to my surprise the movie was much more than that. The movie is based on Shakuntala Devi, born in 1929, a woman with dreams to fly. And the dreams can be matched with the dreams of any 21st century girl- to be financially secure, to have freedom of speech, to travel the world, to make her own identity and to be famous. However the hurdles she faced decades ago, still exist in 21st century too! Yes, we all will agree that India is a patriarchal society, mostly. One can easily notice the preferential treatment that boys receive over girls in everyday life- whether it is praying and giving blessings for a baby boy, the differences between their upbringing, their conditioning, availability of opportunities, terms and conditions of marriage and so on. And sad part is, such differences prevail at all levels of societies, rich or poor, educated or uneducated. How many of us would see parents training the boys to cook and wash because one day he will get married and need to take care of his wife? The girls are trained since childhood for the future- the days post marriage. They are expected to be good looking (external appearance), learn cooking, stitching, dancing and what not! This is of course in addition to her professional job. (Though this trend is changing, but large part of our Indian society follows the same pattern). Also society tries to impose norms for girls for everything.. how they should talk, what they talk, how loud they should talk and even whether or not they should talk at the first place! (did I miss something?!) The boys on other hand are ready for marriage with their job profile, no matter how average the job might be. Even if girl has better job profile, still she needs to do all other tasks. Just like the case of Shakuntala Devi. We see that her husband was not ready to leave his town and job and travel with her to different countries. She was one of her kind, a Guinness Book of World Record holder. How many of us are blessed with such exceptional skills? A woman is expected to pack her bags and travel with her husband along with kids to the place where her husband gets transfer (even if the job is just an average one). This is because society norms define that women have to move behind her husband, in every field and not vice versa. And no acknowledgement of such sacrifice is made, because the women are "supposed to do so" and if they don't do so, they are not a good wife nor good mother and maybe not a good person altogether! An ambitious man is like by all, even if pursuing the ambition means leaving his family- parents, wife and kids and settling abroad. But if a woman chooses to do so, she is tagged as being selfish and careless. I understand that women are more giving and sacrificing (it is natural, I guess). But if a woman choose to pursue her dreams, is pressuring her to leave her dreams not unfair? Why is there this difference in the level of sacrifice between the couple? Why we do not appreciate a woman who leave all her dreams and devotes her life for her new family and kids? If a man supports his wife to pursue her dreams, why is he considered to be weak and wife labelled as dominant? Why can't the brother-sister, mother-father, wife-husband have equal say and power in decision making? Why can’t we teach boys to do the work as much as girls are taught? Why can't we?

I think we can! But how? So let’s do a simple fact check before I tell you how. Have you ever discussed with your mom, grandmom, wife about her dreams and aspirations? Do you really know what they aspired and whether the life they are living is actually what they wanted? As they say, charity begins at home, let us start to build a balanced world. Let us give equal space to women in our life. Little steps can make a lot of difference. Teaching our boys to respect and acknowledge the sacrifice of a mother, support of wife, sister can go a long way in creating an inclusive society.  

If she want to pursue her dreams, let us support her. If she sacrifices her dreams for the family, let us respect her. For all the women in your life (mom, grandmom, sister, wife) who have sacrificed her dreams for the family, please do not forget to APPRECIATE her every single day and let her be proud of the choice she made! Go and talk to them, tell them how proud you are of her and the choices she made. Do this and you might discover some new things about them. Because everyone may not be magical with numbers, but every woman is unique and special in her own way, they turn house into home with their love and warmth. What can be more precious?! Be the support and not the restriction of your Shakuntala Devi. Trust her and support her and see the magic.